A Full Review of Civil War II (Including the #0 and FCBD
stories and the entire miniseries 1-8)
By: Rob Potchak
I want to initially thank a friend for allowing me the
opportunity to read his copy of the $50 hardcover edition of Civil War II,
which included the #0 and the FCBD special they did. Written by Marvel
conspirator, Brian Michael Bendis, and drawn by David Marquez (with guest
artists in the last issue, as well as Jim Cheung and Olivier Coipel), this was
supposed to be a miniseries that turned the entire Marvel Universe on its ear.
What it did instead was have a lot of people waste money, kill off at least 3
major characters in the Marvel Universe, and maintain Bendis’ penchant for
talking heads, and not a lot happening.
Let me give some background with spoilers. In the #0 issue,
She Hulk is the lawyer on a trial of a former bad guy who is “talking shop” and
is entrapped into unlawful talk, consequently, sent to prison, as She Hulk
loses the case. At the end of the issue, two nobodies are introduced, Michelle
and Ulysses, as they watch the Terrigen mists come in and are subsequently
changed into Inhumans. Though we never really see what happens with Michelle,
we DO see what happens with Ulysses, as he’s given the ability to Minority
Report…you know, that weird futuristic Tom Cruise Movie, with the bald chick
that can possibly but we aren’t really sure, see the future, and “Pre-Crime” is
created.
The FCBD issue of CW2 has Carol Danvers make out with James “Rhodey”
Rhodes, aka War Machine, while making T’Challa look like a simp who wants to
prevent himself from throwing up in his mask. As they all have talking heads
moments, a Bendis specialty, the Inhumans show up, as does She Hulk. What
happens next is one of Ulysses premonitions, as Thanos shows up with a giant rocket
propelling gun (what?!) and they are there to stop him to which his only
response is “you earth Avengers aren’t supposed to be here…” and as he’s
looking for a Cosmic Cube, he proceeds to shoot She Hulk through the chest, and
kills Rhodes. On panel, he’s apparently captured, and Danvers has a heated
debate with Tony Stark about letting the future play out, instead of taking
these “maybes” seriously. So we have our
first major casualty, and for what purpose? Exposition?
The first issue of the main mini-series happens before the
FCBD book, recounts the events of Thanos coming to earth and Danvers whining
and crying about it like any military official would, right? She Hulk tells her
to “fight for it,” in a moment that actually has Marquez drawing Danvers with a
smile.
Bruce Banner dies in the series, too, after it has been
explained that he’s been experimenting on himself, and while he wasn’t able to
kill himself with bullets in the past, we are supposed to believe Banner, who has
NO real history with Hawkeye, tells Hawkeye that he trusts him to make the
right call and kill him with the arrowhead that can kill Banner before he
becomes the Hulk. “He was gonna change, and he gave me the way to end it before
it happened,” all because a vision showed Hulk killing everyone, even though
Banner hadn’t been the Hulk in “over a year,” to paraphrase.
The series utilized 18, let me restate, EIGHTEEN double page
spreads over 10 issues, #1 alone had another 5 splash pages, and fifteen total
other splash pages. The double page spreads, by the way, 3 of them were the
exact same pages…yup, three times. How’s that for getting your money’s worth,
readers?
By the end, Tony Stark is presumed dead at the hands of
Captain Marvel, we are treated to some Andrea Sorentino pages of Old Man Logan
not explaining anything in a vision from Ulysses, just some cool drawn pages
because Bendis wants to steal more from Millar’s amazing Marvel stories, and he
then sees a vision of “futures,” drawn by the artists we should anticipate will
draw 2-3 issues of these new series before disappearing for another 6 months
before they are announced somewhere else, but that is a written work for
another day.
So, as the pages close on this story, Bendis has killed off
the Hulk, War Machine, seriously injured She Hulk, and possibly killed Tony
Stark, replacing him with the “I just showed up in armor,” Riri Williams. It
ends with a whimper, with Ulysses becoming a Celestial, neither side a victor,
but nothing really happened except we lost characters for the sake of selling
the book and nothing more.
This is Marvel’s way, now, selling Bendis as the writer of a
generation, when in fact, nothing ever happens, except characters change for
the sake of Marvel diversifying their characters, trying to gain new readers
when their sales are dipping lower than ever.
Once again, this book as it came out, cost $5.99 for the
first issue, and $4.99 for every issue after that. Sure, there was a free issue
in there, too, and the hardcover that I reviewed was $50 on the cover. The
person who bought it, got 20% off at Barnes and Noble, but this story was not
worth 4 issues, and was decompressed to where two issues of it (roughly) were
double page spreads, and almost another was splash pages.
Sam Wilson is on the cover of the hardcover, and I don’t
remember him even being in the book.
Would I recommend this book? Not at all. Save your money,
and when you think about how great the Marvel movies are, and how they have
become billion dollar franchises, remember, this is a book from the company
that is “killing our childhoods,” as Joe Quesada stated at NYCC last year.
While it is filled with gorgeous artwork from some of Marvel’s best talents, it
is a flop the size of Age of Ultron (the comic, not the movie), and shows why
Newsarama has stated that Bendis has written 3 of the worst 15 events in Marvel
history.
