546: what an interesting day.

So, today I went into work for an hour and a half on my day off, knowing the store was going to receive a visit from my regional director and another regional from a different part of the country. I wanted the face tome, but also wanted to show that we were prepared for whatever he wanted to ask and discuss. Well, while I was expecting his typical hard added self, I was elated to hear his initial reaction to how the store looked, which was a loud "YESES! THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" From there, the rest of this visit went amazingly, as he started talking numbers with me. My previous visits, he had never asked about them, but on this visit specifically, he did. In fact, I brought it up the last time, and his response was, "When the store is right, and the processes are in place, then I'll talk numbers with you." Having spoken with other managers, this is the first ANYONE has heard of him talking numbers, leading me to believe that he feels we are where we need to be,  and he believes we are doing it his way.  He even went as far as to say he wants to partner me with a few other managers and discuss sales techniques and such at our conference next month, which meant he knows his to make me feel good about my stance with the company. He left with saying, "I always ask that you show me what is your best, and every time I have been in here,  it has gotten better. And that's saying a lot, since I know I've spent a considerable amount of time here specifically."

Overall, a great visit.

Before my shift, I received a facebook message from the female of interest, which is interesting, because I was thinking my "hellos" and "u want to try to get together" were falling on deaf ears. It was just a simple "hey," but I hadn't talked to her in a while, knowing that she just had to go through the death of her dad, and she's got a lot going on. So, I tried to msg her back and FB on my phone acts up, so I couldn't tell if there was more that she wrote or not. I tested her later in the afternoon, and I told her if she wants something, let me know, and we'll move on from there. Told her I was here, but the capacity she wants needs to be a little better explained. She said it's a rough time for her right now, to which I let her know I understand, but she has to decide when it's time to move forward, but to take her time.

That's about all that happened to me, today, didn't go out, no trouble gotten into, and I looked into a little of it more of the bachelor party stuff for my friend Brian, and I think I'm going to get some VIP passes to either Aria or somewhere in the luxor in Vegas. Ought to be fun.

Ugh, it's already past one, and I have to be at the store at 8:30, so I'm gonna cut this off here.

545: Five years and this is the thanks I get...

So July 2nd was my five year anniversary with my current company, and let my state that it is the longest I've been employed by the same company ever. Sad, I know, but I was at Jersey Mike's Subs for 4 years, Best Buy for four years, Godiva for a year and AT&T for 2 and a half before this. I like my company, as the company seemingly tries to show it's appreciation to it's employees, while wrestling with the idea of being an NYSE company that always answers to the call of the almighty dollar. I get it, that's the business I'm in and understanding that, I know why we don't have payroll floating at all time high levels and why value on buyback is lower, I really do get that, but did I see myself getting a certificate for five years and a USB thumbdrive while I beg for a promotion? No.

Someone else got the promotion I have asked about for three years and I'll shed my disdain here.

I've been told you have to rank well and have the processes in place to get promoted. I'm in the top 7% of the company for the third straight year, higher than the two that have been promoted ahead of me the entire time.

I've been told I have to run a larger store to get it. While one of the managers is in a higher volume store, the other is roughly the same size and I've run mine with less payroll all year.

I've been told you need to get people promoted.  Now granted, I've had two guys ready to go, but since my boss fell asleep, no one else created openings, but I was able to recruit better that I the other two guys,  AND NEITHER of them have promoted anyone either. In fact they want to move my assistant to another Store so that I can take on another "project" and when I asked why not give the project to one of the guys promoted,  I was told, "He tends to do better with his own people, and you are better with Policies and Procedures..." WHAT?! REALLLLLLY?!

I dunno about any of you reading,  but that sounds like a design flaw that will be the death of that position he just got...If he only works well with people he hires or works with, how is he supposed to train someone to be a good manager?

I don't get it. It just drives me bananas,  and then it dawned on me. BOTH of the other guys have had other jobs on the table, one even left the company only to tuck tail between his legs and come back less than six months later...me? I've been the company guy with a big mouth. I've not put my resume out in five damn years because I thought I'd get somewhere, and I don't think I have that vote from people above me to get there.

Also, I don't kiss anyone's ass. I'm a gown ass man, my commendations, contest victories and ranks should say enough for who I am and what I've done...so fuck you if you think I need to polish the fucking corporate unit to get somewhere. They should be begging to suck my cock to keep me, and that's my attitude now. Suck it Trebeck.

To prevent any trouble: This message is the personal opinion of Rob Potchak and is not in any way, shape or form the opinion of the corporation he works for.

544: From the heart.

So, while I wrote that other post right before this, I didn't think it was fair to group these together. I'm about to tell a story that almost made me cry, because it felt so close to home.

Today, I had a family, Adam, his wife Amy and their daughter come into my store, and I noticed that Adam seemed very unresponsive.  Adam is in a wheelchair after an extensive brain injury, and today was his daughter's birthday. The family came in and as I took note to Adam's condition, I heard Amy state that this was their first time out in a long while and GameStop was one of Adam's favorite places to go, so she wanted to see him smile.

Adam's story goes back about 14 months ago, when he was in intensive care after a brain injury. He was flown to a facility in Massachusetts, where he went into a non-responsive coma for 9 months. When he finally did regain consciousness, they flew to Florida for another five months, as Adam was being rehabilitated.  Today, when the family came in, he could wheel his own wheelchair using his feet, and would speak very softly when he was spoken to.  Amy mentioned that she knows it's a good day when he remembers he's married.

Amy stated that just looking at him where he was, was a miracle. I believe her, though I drew strong similarities to my dad, and how he struggles everyday to be some semblance of what he was before his stroke, so many years ago.  While I don't pray often, I pray that Amy remains this strong forever, because to stick with him this long already, it takes a really, really strong soul.  Adam is a long way from where they want him to get to, and in time, I hope he gets to be the man he once was, as my father, unfortunately, was unable to. 

Their story blew me away...the hope, the care...it made me remember why I do what I do for a living, knowing that my store could be "one of his favorite places..." and feeling that I'm partly responsible for that.

I got choked up thinking about them, their daughter full of life, the wife full of hope, and the husband...full of fight.

While my previous post asked why should I continue where I am and not try to better myself elsewhere, this post made me realize that I can make a difference...at least every once in a while.

543: Busting your ass and getting nowhere from it...

Today was one of those days where I did everything that only a handful of folks would attempt to do, and yet, I really don't think it pushed me further to the ultimate goal of moving up in the company...again.

I was at work at 8am, a full 30 minutes before my shift started, due to medical complications on my boss's part, leading me to take point today in our "office" day of work that needed to be completed, including handling two conference calls, contacting every store in the area to see if they completed certain aspects of a sales end were taken down, etc.  Are there others that would be doing these things had I not stepped up, today? Probably, however, I believe I'm doing these extra tasks and getting nothing for it.

My store has been the best performing store in my district for over two straight years, and it's still going. Not just top ranked, but also, in the top 5% of the entire company, and still striving to be better.  I've been told I can't apply for a District Management position because I haven't been an Area Manager, but I also haven't been interviewed for the position of Area Manager, nor does my region currently have ANY people in that position. If there ARE any people in that position, I haven't heard about it, and I tend to hear just about everything.

I'm tired of it. Those who hear me talk about my job realize that I like what I do, I love being able to make people happy with my recommendations, and I love when I see the kids grow up in front of my eyes...but there are aspects of my job that just WASTE MY TIME AND ABILITY...and here we...go....

I should not be hiring 18 year old kids and trying to get them to understand the necessity of strong work ethic anymore. I should be training managers to manage. That's where my strength lies. I shouldn't be teaching someone how to ring out a transaction on the register, I should be teaching them to get others to do that with their time so they can manage their building.  I should be able to tell people that are currently in MY position how to be successful, and force them to listen...instead of pleading with them to just "please, take my advice."

So many people are "in the right place at the right time..." I don't know the last time this happened to me, I really don't. I have definitely gotten myself into the WRONG place at the WRONG time, but I've never had a job that I wanted fall into my lap, to where I can get myself to where I want to be.  And I'm tired of it. I am successful in what I do, but I'm wasted talent.

I'm Crash Davis in Bull Durham. Obviously, the long term guy that knows his place (apparently), but never quite making "The Show" to finally BE THERE.

Last year I won a Leadership Award at our Manager's Conference. It was an honor, it was something that made me really feel like I was going somewhere, and then, my regional manager left, and I was left being told, "Your professional growth may have been hindered by your former upper management..." do you know what that means? Those two years I was top 400 in the Company, I was being led on, not developed and fell behind in the "I wanna move up" department.

I'm tired of being led on, I'm tired of being told "if you keep doing what you are doing, people will take notice." If they have taken notice, I don't see it. I don't feel it, and I'm starting to feel like I'm wasting my time.

I know what they are looking for. I speak my mind TOO much, it seems, and that is a demerit in this corporate world, but honestly...I'm busting my ass...and you are wasting me away.  Don't lose talent. Build them, like you demand I do...take me under the wing so that I may help you be more successful...but no, I'm not sure they know how to do that.

They feel that by giving me a book I can learn what they mention in passing, but without mentoring and experience, there is none of that.

That's why they have been failing...and why I feel like I'm wasting my time when I should be receiving praise for my hard work.

542: expecting disappointment tonight

We all get this way. You kind of want what you want and if you don't get it, regardless of the circumstance around it, and sometimes, you just go home disappointed.  I am already assuming this is going to happen tonight.

I don't feel like really digging deep into the root of the feeling right now, as I normally do, because I tend to believe I am going to have to put on a front today and look like I am enjoying myself, even though right now, I am barely getting through a beer and not as happy as I could be. I'm just wanting something and I believe tonight will lead to me singing a bit, then going home and passing out on the couch, wondering why things can't always be seen in a positive light on a grander stage.

I know I am asking why I haven't "gotten mine," and seem bummed more often than not when I write this, but he'll, no one ever said this was happy happy joy joy...

I deserve more, and when I say I am going to grab it, I get relegated to waiting and hoping, instead of making my way to super stardom, and I'm not sure how to break that mold...and it's getting to me and hitting me on a stress level I don't like.

I'm tired of training 18 year olds. I am better than that. My talents are being wasted. My acumen is wasted on people figuring out the best way to get rid of a pimple... is that all I am worth?!

And let's not get me started on my personal life.

I also, HAVE TO ASK, why in the he'll, are kids educated if they can't even speak with Ebonics? Save the goddamned tax money for fuck sake...seriously. speak the fuck up, ENUNCIATE YOUR GOD DAMNED WORDS AND QUIT WASTING MY TIME BY NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT WE HAVE SALES TAX!!!

541: Y'ever wonder?

I think about things too much. I think about how I have what I would consider is a nice way to be romantic, but how nowadays could be looked at creepy, stalkerish or whatever else.

I read comic books and now they are really well written, so I use something I read about in Iron Man to explain this "paranoia" I have. Tony Stark called himself a "Futurist" in an issue as he explained that he sees all possible future outcomes and makes his decisions based on those possibilities," and I believe I do the same thing. My mind is extremely logical until something throws a wrench in the works and hits me with an emotion.

I know, your are probably wondering what the he'll I'm referring or wondering about that brought this up...truth is, to know is to hopefully understand that as lonely as I get, me being by myself is sometimes the best conclusion to the equation...should it be? I don't know.

My family is full of rage that they don't disperse. I have had multiple attempts to communicate this with my brother, as he is the most consistent with the rage and aggression,  and yet he will yell at me or tell me to stop it. I know I probably come off as condescending, but it is how I was raised...to belittle others to take your side in the debate. I have probably worked the hardest out pf my entire family to change that and yet, I am still guilty of it, and I know I'd take that out on people...sometimes without knowing it.

I'm just throwing these thoughts out here because I don't want to be alone, but when people ask me why I want a tattoo of Robert Bruce Banner turning into the hulk on my back, it's because I know how I get when I can't control my rage and I worry about those in my path when I get angry. The Joker in a Straight Jacket tattoo I want...little harder to describe...feel like my humor could be considered crazy and my mind trapped looking for an escape.

I am unsure I'll ever meet someone who fully understands me, but let it be known that I do FULLY understand myself when it comes to my feelings...it just does not come easy to figure out what to do about those feelings or how to control them.

I don't want to seem forceful with someone I like, but I want to progress the situation...and I'm contemplating all of the outcomes before I make my decision of where to go from here.

540: What I've been passing time with...

I have recently been watching WAYYYY too much Netflix. I've been watching a lot of 30Rock, and mostly cheesy movies...including From Dusk Til Dawn. While I do love the film, it's amazing to see how far both Quentin Tarrantino and Robert Rodriguez have come as movie makers.

I have also caught up on most comics, and anyone who has been following my Twitter, you would have seen that myself and two others have been going back and forth about one of the most epic final pages in comics in Flashpoint: Batman #2.

Still got a bit on my mind from last night, too, but doing what I can to not be thinking about it...

Funny I go days or weeks at a time without writing anything on here and then I just blow the thing up with random babbles.

539: What's wrong with this picture?

Please remember when reading this, that I often type it out on my phone, so misspellings and such are because the thoughts are coming and going so fast that I'm at the bad finger typings mercy and the horrid or abhorant spelling that comes with it.

Okay, so today, I tend to believe I'm going to be told that whatever started happening again was a bad idea and shouldn't be repeated...

No, it wasn't sex with someone out of my league, though that would be awesome,lol, no, something happened with "that girl," again. Mild flirting, turned into two people allowing themselves to take in too much alcohol, turning into "hey, let's start this over,again..."

So, I'm gonna see how long it goes before it's jeopardized by my knack of ruin. I'm not gonna throw anything at her, see her response and see where that goes.

Life is all a game, so when people tell you to act or be yourself, what they really mean is, "quit being yourself and act this way..." because rarely do people actually LISTEN, and I'm just as guilty as everyone else...or even moreso, as I really love the sound of my voice over others, commanding their thoughts and actions.

Should I have stepped into what will undoubtedly be a mess at some point? Ehh, fuck it. (Don't worry, it stays PG-13 as long as I don't say it again...) life is seeming shorter and shorter on the regular for me to really want to ponder rights and wrongs...might as well see where the current on this stream takes me and go from there...

As long as it isn't to a jail cell, I think I'm good...least for now.