Alone, restless...
In a moment of despair, I do something I haven't done in a while. Nothing illegal, but something just as intrusive. I give up. I realize that part of my life is over. The feeling of invasion, now, ceases and I go back to my business.
I am just as sad as I have been for months, maybe years. Alone in a world that is full of people with someone. Getting older by the year, the month, the week, the day and the hour, I fall back into a pit that I thought I had crawled myself out of.
I still talk of it as if it were yesterday, and truth is, its less than three months from two years. What is the draw, why is it so hard? What's out there for ME?
I try to pull myself together and realize that I can't. I realize that I'm in this pit for an undefined time to come. As much as I think I can find happiness in myself and in someone else, I find myself still in this moment. The stand still that is moving at full speed. The hour that is truly weeks months and years.
Why do I trample the I have now, hoping for a glimpse of the past? Where did my happiness go? Where will I finally track it down?
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