Everybody that knows me, knows that I'm a fan of pro-wrestling...and up until Tuesday morning, a fan of Chris Benoit. I still feel the WWE was correct in their 3 hour presentation of ALL THE GOOD he was. No one may ever know what the truth is to the story, whether he couldn't cope with a wife that may have been unfaithful, or a son that was undersized and given Human Growth Hormone to attempt to help him grow, we will just never know.
The man himself went from an Instant Classic to a horror story. I find it difficult to write this, not because it is the most talked about incident on the internet, the news, what have you, but because this was a man that you could tell cared for people, and they cared for him. Now, I bet most of those people want to take back any and all of the kind words that were said about him.
I do not condone his actions, and part of me hopes that there was still some sort of hostage situation, that he had to play along with and made it look like a double murder suicide, because I can not fathom what it would be like to ever consider murder, let alone, murder of a young child.
As a writer, I often times put dark places in my head to be able to reach that level that the readers want to see...hell, I've even killed of 75% of humanity in LANDIS, but one thing I've never been able to wrap my head around is what causes a man to do this.
One can wonder, one can guess, but I still feel a little sorry that now, a man that I've watched on tv as a wholesome husband and father, a champion among champions, is now run through the dirt, and I, along with millions of others, now wonder, "Why?"
I'm not sure I want the answer. It is simple to see that the man went from a Hall of Fame wrestling career, to one of America's darkest moments. All his merchandise has been pulled, all his memories of good now stripped, and no one is to blame but himself.
I bet now, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Mick Foley and others that traveled with him thousands of nights are glad they didn't speak on Chris Benoit at his tribute, and having heard all the lingering stories, you can see why people such as John Cena were hesitant to speak in the first place, but I now feel really bad for Chavo and Dean Malenko, spilling their tears over a man that had many more problems than he ever let anyone know.
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As an update, wrapping my head around this actually IS a part of why THE ARDY VANSTARR ADVENTURES has not been updated. I've mostly been in shell shock from the events of the past week, as my wife has dealt with two up close and personal tragedies, and now, I'm coming to terms with this. I apologize for my lack of professionalism around this, as it did not affect me personally, but mentally, it pressed against me, and I'll pick up the pieces as we continue TAVA beginning Tuesday, July 3rd.
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