3-1-2010 (485)

I changed up the look of the blog a little. I haven't figured out how to change the graphics to make it really my own, so it still looks pretty plain, but then again, this is a private blog now. I haven't written anything on this that really shows the status update of my comics work, because I haven't done any.

I've started many projects over the past five years...THIEF, TAGGER, REHAB, and a couple others, and none have been completed. I wonder if this is how Leonardo DaVinci felt, as he'd get so caught up with "the next BIG idea," only to have it die out in his mind.

I feel that my creativity only goes so far, and while I can brainstorm the fuck out of things, I don't seem to get much further than that anymore.

My mind seems to be racing with about three weeks left before I HAVE to move, and I haven't figured out where I'm moving, though I think I do. I want so many things to go my way, and all of last year, they did not.

Last year I wish I could redo. I lost a lot of myself in that last year, and now feel like I'm coasting on the tidal wave, but not underneath and overwhelmed, but finally surfing somewhere under the cusp, but not anywhere in danger. I feel a sense of hope coming back into the light, though even that, I feel is somewhat misguided.

I wrote about knowing about chemistry with another person, yet, while I know it's there, I know that person is juggling inner turmoil of past relationships, much like myself, but where mine is over and I want it to be done with, theirs is seemingly still having a possibility of coming back. As the friend, I asked, "so what's up with you two?" and the response was "I dunno..." I stated that 'I dunno' by itself would have been an up in the air, while adding an elipses to it made it seem at even more of a discord.

My biggest problem going on now in my life is I hae no one that I can fully open up to. I think I need a good cry, but none of my friends are the type that you can do that with. There is no break down in front of person, but I think I need a good heartfelt one...after that, I think I'd feel cleansed, and ready to take back the world.

On a professional front, I believe I'm going to print a sketch book in my latest artstyle, which is all line work from photo reference. A buddy of mine, who seems to be promoting local comic shows now actually told me I should set up a booth and try to sell them there. I'll have to figure out pricing and everything, but even I could piece together a sketchbook, right?

To anyone that actually finds and reads this, thanks. I don't know if this will continue to be a public blog, or even if it remains that way, whether ALL posts will be that way.