Tonight, at 6:05pm, I received a text message that asked "are you not talking to me, now?" And I thought about leaving it without an answer, but something in me needed more here...and I got it, closure (for now) in a situation that when good was a lot of fun, but when bad, went straight to batshit crazy...
She continued to tell me that it was apparent I had made my mind up about what I wanted, or in her mind, what I didn't want.
I began to ask, "what do you want from me?" And continued to receive the same answer, that we should stop talking.
I tried to explain to her how I asked for space, and she wouldn't give me any, as she continued to "check in" on me, which kind of defeats the purpose. Sometimes a person needs more than 24 hours to get their mind around what they want.
She then told me I bring out the worst in her, and told me I shouldn't want to be with her, reminding me that someone else had asked her out.
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I'm going to cut this short, because it went on for four hours of text messages, but the gist of it was this.
I asked what she wanted, and she continued to tell me what *I* shouldn't want (which was her), to which I finally said to her, if you want to be done with me, that's on you, not the other way around. If it is what you want, I will respect your wishes.
She told me she would remove me from her Facebook, and she wouldn't text or "try" to hang out at my local spot.
She called me cold, she told me she couldn't believe I would demand she tell me what she wanted, but in turn she never did.
I let her be the one to end it, not to feel like the broken up guy, but because if it is someone else's decision, it typically holds up longer, and some times forever.
I'll miss the 23year old firecracker, but I won't miss feeling like I had been taken advantage of, or being blamed for things that were out of my control.
She manipulated me into a no win situation, which she still doesn't grasp, and wanted me to accept blame for my role in it, which I simply can not do.
I knew if I told her I didn't want to see her again, she would come back and ask why and there would be drama, so I took one for the teams, since she had already called my character into question, she'll believe I was really an asshole, rather than feel I gave her an exit to help her, a final, selfless act here...
Kinda fucked up, I know.
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