576- Still not quite myself

My life over the last three months has been a rollercoaster, and not one that people pay admission to ride. I have found out things about my job that make it more difficult to concentrate, I have dealt with a now nonexistent would be relationship, and I've gone through the holidays, and subsequent really slow ass time at work.

I find myself in a rut. Not one that will get me in trouble like my divorce (you know, two duis, a lot of debt, and trust issues), but still one that makes me wonder, if and when, I'll finally be able to just go out, enjoy myself, and maybe meet someone that is interesting and beautiful to me.

Right now, however, what I want is someone of the opposite sex I can be emotional around, because I am unable to express my true feelings and emotions around most of my guy friends, and for that matter, the women, too.

I've been watching a show called THE GLADES, where a transplanted detective takes cases in his work life, while he works on a relationship with a mother who is married to a guy in jail. It had parallels to how I feel with a lot of things, but mainly, people really seem to hold on too long, cause themselves misery, and I've noticed in North Carolina, LIVE with each other, to where they wouldn't find something better if it bit them in the ass.

It amazes me that cheating runs as wild as it does, as it has to happen somewhere, and people these days are too cheap for hotel rooms.

I don't think I'm going to find that complimentary to my life person that I would like, and it is amazing that Katherine wanted a relationship of any kind with me when we fought about whatever the hell it was that we were...

Still, part of me misses it.  Why? Pretty simple. Somebody wanted something to do with me, versus the alternative...nobody wanting me.

I believe anyone actually reading this must feel that I'm really depressed...I just think I'm bored with my norm, bored with here, and unable, OR unwilling to change it because what I'm used to is so comfortable.

Hmm, may've just hit a nail into the board there...and with that, I'm reverting back to sleep...snow on the ground, I may have to walk to work tomorrow.