I'm going to write about something a little different than my future projects and stories, and go with something about my real life.
I'm in Charlotte, NC, right now, at a training, two weeks before christmas and my 28th birthday, and besides thinking, "Why am I here, when I should be selling?" I'm truly giving thought to the question of, "Why am I doing this if it doesn't make me happy?"
aMy wife called me, talking about problems she was having while I've been gone, and it really upsets me sometimes that I have to deal with all the problems at work, and come home and have to deal with problems from my wife...not necessarily effecting me personally, but anything like that places a strain on our marriage, whether we try to get through it together, or just by herself...
It's selfish on my part. She wants to be there for me when I have an issue, but my issues always seem to come up around the same time as hers. I wish I had more to give and help with to try and make it up to her, but (and I'm not sure she's even heard this, yet) I'm too tired and have nothing extra to give after I've tried to work out my demons atwork and my feelings on my own time.
I ahve a boss that doesn't realize what I do for him. He doesn't realize what I attempt to do to make his job easier, so when it comes to looking for a promotion, he'd rather give it to someone who politics his way to the top of the class by trying to learn something when told, "I'm going to promote someone" instead of seeing what he DOESN'T HAVE TO DO because it's already getting done...which is the way a manager SHOULD WANT IT...but of course, he'd rather consider the statements made about what I would like to see from him, claiming its unneccesary criticism, rather than realize the work and the positives that come from the things that are being done BY ME...the two things that should be most important.
It really bugs me. I want to be successful, but when you get told, "I didn't have to take you..." and "Everyone was throwing you under the bus..." and then the follow up is, "But I know you get numbers" there is no positive personal reinforcement to those comments, and it means that he's got me on knowing that I am successful in how I handle my business.
I just don't know what I want to do with my life besides write...the problem is, writing isn't worth the bills I have to pay and unfortunately, that's the most important thing when it comes to employment to me...nobody works 100%, 100% of the time...and that's not a typo.
I'm having a hard time dealing with this, now exactly, and its dragging me down. I mean, I must be making impressions on the right people, because the VP of Sales in NC asked me to talk to him while I was in training, and the manager of NC told me I deserved my own store...butthat's not good enough for what I want, anymore. I want to feel appreciated and respected, and I don't get that feeling, and I don't see that changing. I've learned things at this training that I'm at, and I'll do them... and we'll seif anyone else actually steps up like I intend to...
unless something better comes along.
1 comment:
I tend to agree, its just you can only take so much resentment from a manager that knows you know his job better than he does...
Heh, I've been in management before for over 8 years, and been successful, but I wanted something where the earning potential was better. Now I almost wish I hadn't stopped trying and expanding my management skills.
Thanks for the reply, though, I'm glad that people don't just read the comic for the comic, hehe.
Post a Comment