I'm almost wondering if I should change the name of this blog to the subject line, because that's pretty much what this is...the keys to the inner me. Hell, I even took the dissection of Rob and made it into my online dating profile because I figured it was better to be real, and let people know what they are getting into ahead of time.
---
So last night was an interesting one. Besides hitting up two different bars and having a good time with different people, I watched my buddy Tino sing a set, and then got to the Fox to sing two songs, and then it got interesting.
The girl I have been writing about (whom I refer to as girl, because it really isn't fair to talk about her by name), was at the Fox and I asked if everything was okay. She had written a msg on her facebook page talking about people's true colors, and while a part of me thought she may've been talking about me, but overall, I knew I hadn't done anything or said anything since the week prior, so I wanted to see what she meant.
She told me she "guessed" she was alright, but her dude had said hurtful things to her, regarding not just herself, but others in her life, and then claimed it was a drunken stupor rant and that he didn't remember any of it.
I gave her a warning statement that I was going to say something, and I would tell her whether I liked her or not in a more than friend kinda way (because that's how ballsy I am, lol). I said, "when people are drunk, the truth comes out. To claim he doesn't remember is cowardice, and it isn't something you need."
I didn't really say much else, but when we left, I walked her to her car, and the two of us just kinda sat down and started talking...well, her listening more than talking. She looked at me and was like, "what, Rob?" so I just went ahead and told her, "You made the wrong decision." We talked for another hour an a half after that, and it was just a talk, with quips at everything she had said to me. I learned some things, like the fact that after her friend passed away, she felt I tried to push her away, which I am not sure how, when I said I think that was reversed. I told her I would give her whatever she needed at that point, whether it be a hug, a shoulder, or space. I wasn't sure what she wanted, and she chose door number 3, and last night told me that space wasn't the right choice.
I pointed out that the reason a lot of what I said sounded like it came off wrong is because the one thing we didn't do was talk on the phone or in person about it, and I think that it was misconstrued. I told her that my statement to "celebrate the person's life" is because that's what the person looking down on you would want...not all the crying and hubbub. I said, if anyone understands this, it's me, because my grandmother passed on my birthday and then I received the birthday card from her later in the week. Anyway, getting back to it...
The main point I was getting at was because she didn't tell me HOW to be there for her, I couldn't, and I can't take all the blame, but I was still wrong for not SAYING it and just typing it.
We continued talking, and she started giving me "the look." I told her to stop, and she was like, "I'm just lookin at you." and we both knew she wasn't. I diverted attention to the fact that technically, she "had a man," and that the look she was giving me was going to get someone in trouble. I made a couple jokes and got real laughter out of her, and commented on it, saying, "Yeah, that's all me. I bet it's been a long while since you laughed like that...it's because I'm a funny mother fucker."
She told me her hurt wall was back up, but she rested her head on my shoulder. We just sat there, and every time I'd ask her what she was thinking, she would clam up. So I told her to just say something, and she goes, "Trees are green." ...I corrected her, "Trees are brown, leaves are green. Duh." more laughter.
I got the look again, and I said that I had too much respect for her to try to make a move while she was "with someone else."
At about 3:45am, we said our goodbyes, she said she'd let me know when she got home...and she still hasn't. ...let me know...maybe she hasn't gotten home yet...I dunno. I'm probably going to wait a tad longer (like noon), and call her to make sure she did get home, because as the nice asshole I am, I was a tad worried.
No comments:
Post a Comment