Let me start by saying that I feel Michael Bay's best film was THE ISLAND, starring Ewan MacGregor and Scarlett Johansen (as I probably spelled BOTH their names wrong). That movie just felt like a good movie, though the reviews for it probably weren't stellar. It also touched upon all the things that make a "good" Michael Bay film...Big explosions, car chases, and a plot that is flimsy at best, but made better or worse by the performances of the cast involved. And this film got the casting choices nailed, was able to keep the explosions down for the most part, and you felt for the poor clones...
So let's get to the meat of my review for the latest Transformers movie, Dark of the Moon. I like the interlude prequel moments where you find out that there was another ship from Cybertron that made it out, and then somehow crashed on the moon. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren had 21 minutes to check out the wreckage, and began doing so, and then suddenly, in 1972, another trip to the moon was planned but scrapped.
Now, Optimus Prime and his ragtag wannabe Transformers of now (they are not, nor EVER will be the Gen 1 Robots in Disguise that we all know, LOVE and wish this movie was about) end up in Chernobyl and find out that the engine core from that ship was brought to Earth. Optimus yells at the American Defense Dept for a bit, but then meets Buzz Aldren and suddenly decides that they must go to the moon to get whatever that ship had and try to bring back its captain, former Autobot Leader, Sentinel Prime.
Here's where things go a bit weird, because obviously, they bring in Shia Lebeouf, and he's pointless as a "leading actor," and even more pointless as the cute guy that somehow keeps having MEGA HOTTIES fall for him. No Megan Fox this time, as we're treated with someone who acts about as well as a Victoria's Secret model. The emotion on her face was clearly an ad for Cover Girl.
So okay, back to where the movie takes a weird turn. We're introduced to Megatron with half a head, who now transforms into a truck and keeps picking robotic bugs out of his half head. We finally see Lazerbeak, and instead of being a cool bird, comes across as a robotic turkey / buzzard. And then we get the WTF moments...
Sentinel Prime is brought back to life by "The Matrix of Leadership," which now rests in Optimus, and is supposed to be in the leader of the Autobots...but for some reason, they found it in the last movie from the Ancient times, which means multiple generations of Autobot leaders did not possess it, including Sentinel Prime. Optimus attempts to give it to Sentinel Prime, who explains he's no longer the leader, Optimus is.
So okay, we find out about a government cover up not only from the Americans, but the Russians as well, we learn how it came about, though I don't understand where the funding for the cover up came from or HOW it's been going for Generations, since Megatron was found in the first movie frozen in a block of ice, and not creating government conspiracies.
Okay...So I'm taking this film for it's own from here on out. This is my REAL opinion. The human scenes looked like a Rock Music video for Goo Goo Dolls or some other act, as they were more posed than natural, the girl was definitely flaunted in a "We don't need no Megan Fox" feel, and Shia should NEVER be a leading man.
All that said, just like Revenge of the Sith, if you can sit through 2 hours and 15 minutes of bad plot that ties horribly to what came before it, can get past the car chases, explosions, and really just cut out the human moments of the movie...the last fifteen minutes of the film is where the meat of the movie is. And no...
There is no room for another sequel, unless Unicron has now figured out the Space Bridge technology and comes to Devour earth, forcing Autobots and Decepticons to come together, though I'm not sure there ARE any Decepticons left...
What does this review mean? I enjoyed about 30 minutes of the movie, which breaks down to about 1/5 of the film. I REALLY enjoyed those minutes though. The rest? It wasn't thought out, it was definitely done for a toy line, and it is kind of depressing that all it really made me want was a Transformers vs. Terminator film when you see the destruction of Chicago happening.
If you want to see a good 3D movie, and are just going for visual? Michael Bay gives you THAT. If you want a deep and emotional film...wait for Jim Cameron, who now that I think about it...if they ever reboot Transformers...spare no expense, and give THAT man the keys to the castle, Hasbro...He would give us Generation 1 in a way that we could only HOPE to imagine.
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